Broken Hearts I have been crying a ocean of tears filled with rejection and loss. I remember the words my mother told me find someone who loves you more than you love them. Maybe that is selfish love when you have lost and have nothing more than one broken heart. I learned early that people will break you heart... you can love them uncondtionally, stand by them, cherish them, stick by them but their broken hearts; will lie to you , hurt you and will beat you away. People will take that unconditional love you give them eventually they will abuse it, use it, and short change you. This is a broken heart it is heart that has been robbed by another. A heart that is desperate,,,will try to mend, or it will try to break another heart. This heart will test, play games, and will withhold the very thing it wants. This heart will give away its respect, will allow itself to be used, will believe in things that are not real, and may even hurt another heart to give away its own pain. A broken heart bruised deeply will either strive to never hurt another, or will at all costs do everything it can to never be hurt again. So today I cry for my broken heart scarred and always tender and all the other hearts that feel abused, rejected, disrespected, and subjected to all that it is been broken!

You ask me if I miss you! Right now I fill I lost to you. I have always wanted you to let me in...I feel like you totally slammed the door on me! You said you know me, than I ask why you want to hurt me? My thoughts are that you are overwhelmed, but I feel clueless. I believe you are wrapped in loss and in pain! I wonder if it is just another excuse I make for you! I wonder if you tell someonelse that I am the girl who wants more for you and makes you feel trapped! Ever since you told me about the woman who you went to the concert with...I wonder if she feels like me. Why does this guy like me , but avoids me, why does this guy not want more from me. I wonder if you have told her that you love her and left her with mixed messages. I wanted to be that girl you wanted to share things with, not the girl you run to when you want to avoid things. I have learned that when you give your love you are lied too, when you share yourself you will find someone who withholds,and that when you find someone who hides they are not just hiding from you. Have I tried to make you mad, to wake you up, to let me in but you just put another barrier up! You always want easy and simple...I am always fighting for something real with you. I wondering who your protecting? I wonder if the games you play make you hard? I wonder who;you hold close, who you would never hurt,and who you want to tell the truth too! It is not me! Someone who always tests you, will finally create person who will one day stop trying! Is it not ironic that we create what we do not want!

The Love that Remains

I wish I could tire of you,be rid of you.
I no longer want to devour you.
I want comfort from you.
I wanted you to be my home, my santuary.
I wanted your trust, your truth.
I did not want to rescue you only be blesssed by you.

It is strange that in a moment and a breath things become broken.
Fragile ties and blessings denied, and unsweet pain, we try again
Fear and not knowing where you fit or stand, can not with stand.
I guess love is that fragile, or it was never real!
We try to replace with not much grace!
We discard with haste, and no real regard.
Again we become displaced!

You have to wonder what is ever real and what was mistake.
Love one sided is surely to break.
When we never really commit, a broken heart it does make.
A feeling of never being binded and never knowing, is just blind faith.
Falling and capitulating into the deepest oblivion.

I surrender to brokeness, I fall into the inner depths.
I linger in the dream of what it was all meant to be for me.
I shatter that nothing was real, only a hope of what I wanted it to be.
A daydream of my creation, a splender of divination, or some kind of hallucination.
Caught up in a fairy tale and a knight found in an oasis!

I lost my filter in my moment of surrender.
I trusted to give me the courage, for the endeavour!
I believed in the forgiveness and patience.
I gave you my twenty seconds of insane courage and all of my
embarrassing bravery, hoping for something great.

I know now that love is not something you should beg for.
It is never to be wondered upon if you are truly emabraced.
Love is something you do not have to hide from or run from.
In love you never feel disregarded, alone, or misplaced.
Love should never want to hurt, be selfish, or wonder off in haste.
Real love is blessed with the most ultimate of faith.

Love is not sex but a pure surrender.
Love is blessed not insane.
Love knows the others pain.
Love is not selfish and unkind.
Love is strong and not filled with pain.
Love is grace!

Does love remain?
Does love abstain?
Does love wane?
Does love sustain?

I wonder right now what love is!

Lisa

Love is everything!
It is what we are born to give!
Love is what we are meant to believe in.

Love is what we are meant to trust.
Love is a blessing,when we are bold!

It is also what we hide!
It also what we withhold!

Truth be told Love is generous
and makes you whole...

Lisa

Why would someone misuse the word Love. Why would they say that word and not bother to mean them? No one should say that word, unless there heart means it. You do not say you love someone because your lonely, you sayit because you love them. They say love can move mountains and heal a heart. But love keeps breaking my heart. I let people in who say thatI matter, but in the end I fill up the empty spaces. Is that what happens when you Love, you end up allowingpeople take pieces of you. You give yourself away. Is Love not suppose to open your heart and help you love truer and deeper. Love is suppose to help you trust more and to help you endure.

I am seduced by thought of you. I remenice at the thoughts of your fingers tips,tracing the lonely crevices of my skin. I am calm and sedate when your arms are wrapped around me. You filled the empty spaces when you used to embrace me. I felt safe when you were with me but unravelled when you were gone. It felt like love , there was passion,but I felt seperateness and distruss. You felt a cage and I felt like I was a boat a float in the ocean. You seemed to feel stifled by me. I want to be enough for you. I wanted to be the girl you shared with your family, in your life. I guess I might be stuck in a fairytale. I wanted more but more always fills me with fear. Love scares me, it always feels like something illucid that will slip

A Sacred Journey I peruse the refuge of all my broken places. I thoroughly examine all that has made me feel rejected. Like a precocious child I examine the moments I gave myself away. I examine the plethora of emotion from my past. The heartache of emotions are overflowing and excavated piece by piece. My journey is to find peace. Lisa

Legends of Hummingbirds They float free of time! They bring ah and amazement. Hummingbirds carry our hopes. They know our hopes for love,joy, and celebration. When one watches a hummingbird they open us to wonder. They help us to open our eyes! We see the world with wonder. Humingbird inspires us to openour hearts to those we love. To the joy of being! Hummingbird teaches us to savor! When it hovers over a beautiful flower,it savors every moment. Teaching us to live in moment and savor it as it passes. Its grace and its beauty reminds us that beauty is everywhere. It brightness boldness reminds us the richness of life. That life is rich in every moment. That our connections have meaning! Our joy and laughter are the sweetest thing.

Karma thoughts for 2012 I am not a person who wants to just take of space! I do not want people in my life,who think I am only soft space to fall. I do not want expect less, or believe that I am not worthy. I want the people in my life,get I have needs too. That I remember to ask for what I need,and realise I am not island. I need to trust in order to attract what is healthy. I need to love myself, practice what I love,and be love to attract love. I have to learn to not be affected, and feel rejected,by peoples reactions. Learn that truth begets truth. That when we trust at our inner being,trust materializes. If there is doubt we create fear, and create distrust. That it you hurt someone before they hurt you or cause they are hurting you, you hurt them and you hurt you. That sometimes you need to trust your intuition, because it tells you the truth. I need to remember that others have fears too and fear can hurt. Also that fear keeps us in the dark, and not the light. That your integrity and word mean everything. That does not mean just to others but yourself. That you have to be grateful for the smalliest things. That life gives us so much to be grateful for even,in adversity. Lisa

A Beginning It was new! A brighter light streamed through my window. In Peace I was surrounded, assured, and grounded. Heaven sent,a more divine path surmounted. Glorified and joyful, I may move forward. Loved and embraced, even in the solitude. Faith transformed, I am not alone! Lisa

Making your way back

Falling into doubt.
Dissolving into questions.
Insecurity rising to the surface.
Always never knowing.
Trust,waning.
Self imposed denial
Mislead, or a different interpretation instead.
Fears challenged.
Encompassed in healing.
Growing with love.
A journey to find a way home.

Lisa

Drunken Buddha

He is lost in their love like, late night lullaby's!
She calls him, breaks him, and berates him.
He sees her glory, her weakness, and his pain.
She uses and abuses, when she is weak and with disdain.
The Buddha she worships only when she is in pain.

The Buddha feels momentarily healed by her moments of worship.
The Buddha surrenders into pain and worship,
drunk on his past love addiction.
Broken and torn, he relives the ride.
The Buddha has conjured a fairly tale of misery,
that will never die.

The Buddha is broken, and living in vain!
A self subscribed sinner,who is filled with loss and pain.

Like in a portal, the Buddha does hide.
Shrinking and surviving, but has put living aside.
Every night he does drain his sorrows,by way
of a pain killer he does prescribe.
He is numb and incoherent, and lonely ole soul.
Fractured and wounded,and feels alone!

He tries to fill his moments of dread,with women instead.
Love from the past, and friend from the future.
If he would only surrender,to his feelings and pain.
The answers he knows would become less distorted.

Challenged and closed,filled with distress.
He has stopped living life with great regret!
Damaged,and cynical, he continues to hide.

The endeavor is plain, and may make you shudder!
His resistance to pain, has become his filter.

His eyes are closed to a future; lost, alone,
and unsure. He escapes once again from his pain,on a
lonely wave of humour and inner terror.

Buddha be blessed and may you find hope in happily ever after, instead!

Lisa

My Inner Yogi I surrender my will. In every breath I unravel! Guarded and displaced, in such disgrace! In the darkness, I feel a light ready to ignite! My feet rooted, my body in balance. I start to generate, and participate! The stress begins to disintegrate. Strength recharged in every movement. Power restored, body no longer broken. I feel my soul unfold. Like a cherished embrace, my body starts to mold into place! At every form,a beautiful piece of sculpture,unfolds. The beauty is my body, in whatever the form. Lost in the breath and instruction. My mind turned off, I move and bend. Flowing freely, I surrender! Lisa

A story of broken hearts

In pure synchronicity,two precious souls met.
Perhaps God had a hand in this remarkable meeting and intertwining.
From deep soulful words their hearts grew,and filled with passion.
Like a seed, a love was planted.
Surely this love was meant, to heal.

However these two souls came from places where hearts were broken.
Two hearts broken in distrust and fear.
Hearts hidden from the truth built on barriers and excuses.

These hearts still felt they had direction.
There passion created a fairytale, of love and devotion.
With out question their was desire,almost enough to keep them on a chartered course.

However their egos started to create doubt, as egos do!
Each needed to be more!
They created pedestals for one another.
She thought he was only person who saw every part of her with pure acceptance.
He seen her love as devotional filled with pure passion and loyality.
That is when the story did unfold.

The one heart wanted more, each time that heart wanted more, the other heart fled and created doubt in its own fear.
Each time the other heart feared being caged it pushed the other heart away.
The one heart engaged in its own dreams,and the other heart felt disregarded.
What once was enough started to fade by doubt that the love was true.
This love started to look unreal, never knowing what was true.
The truth was hidden because the hearts were hidden,in previous pain.
Hearts meant to be healed in gods loving hand became love grown out ego.

Love is built on acceptance, truth, and trust.
One love is built on loyality on both sides.
Believe that loving hearts have needs, and scars.

One heart became broken, lonely, rejected and felt not enough.
The other heart felt a fading and tried to hold on tight.
But when heart feels lonely and broken it begins to digress.
It strikes out in pain and runs away.

Both hearts break.
Hearts than turn to hurt and than perhaps hate.
With trust all gone,these two hearts seperate.

A missing, a void, heart with hole, one broken heart
finds courage to reach out even though broken and afraid.
They talk, they feel closed and cautious,and both filled
with distrust.
Only in Gods hands through surrender and Love could this love
pull through.
Fear may reign and utter doubt sustain, and backup will be what
is to blame. That damn distrust and seperateness!
Only god knows the way too heal and to build a healthy love that matters.

Lisa
New Years

Where love does reside

I let you go out of Fear.
I made my mistakes with such haste.
I did not believe that love still had its Place!
Love accross the miles can still exist.
When two people believe with pure faith.

A Love that has trust and no fear, can exist seperate,
but never feels alone.

I do not want my fate to be filled with fear of
love.
I want my faith to trust in love.
I want the love where one never feels in lack.
A love that is matched with two full souls.
A love filled with grace and where two souls embraced feel whole.

I know when I believe that I am enough, that a healthy love will follow.
When I do the things I love, I embrace love and fill myself with love,and truly engage in love.

When I surrender and believe love is truth, than love will never be broken.

Love will lead the way and provide.

Lisa New Years 2012

Finding Grace

I have been so lost.
On this journey to find me!
Never been so bold, to just let go.
To be alone.

I have been praying for the gifts.
Looking for a silent power.

However never feeling like I am ever gaining ground.
Feeling like I am losing face.

I have wondered if I lost my faith!
Screaming for my inner guide!
Pleading for the puriest form of grace.

Searching still for the love, that might fill the space.
I think I am losing my safe place.

I wonder if God has made some kind of mistake!
Will I find my place?

Will love find its way back?
I wish it might, to give me faith!
Surrounded in this greater Love.
I hope it is my saving grace!

Lisa New Years Eve

When Love Hides

I realized today in the silence
that I know a coward.

I know a woman who was
filled with fear and distrust.
She took a chance on man who
promised her his love was true.
We click he said, you know it is
true.
She sits wondering today why
she allowed this man to steal her
heart without any guarantees.
She felt the love but today
she wonders if it is about to be set free.
She is tired of waiting till he feels
like he's got it right and
all his dreams appear.
Today she does not know,
where to go from here.
Her fear is leaving and her love is
dying, and she doesn't know if she should reach
out but one last time.


I new a fragile man filled with love
he keeps it inside and in his own solitude,
he loves.
Love he wants, with the deepest trust,
filled with love and desire.
He appears to want something,but forgets
you get what you give.
If you do not give something to trust,
a trust will die when closeness subsides.
He gets caught up in survival and living
out his dreams.
He seems to forget he told a girl they clicked
and it is love and time is what she needs.
He wonders why the girl is drifting away.
He does not seem to know what the girl needs, the
simple need is an invitation to dwell
inside,to see the life he must hide.
This man does not seem to realize she needs to
be invited into his life, the life he will
never allow her to see.

Not one but two cowards were found in the
silence today.

by Lisa

Peaceful Bliss

Whispers of butterfly wings.
Kisses of succulent sweet tenderness.
Cherished in the midday bliss.
Afternoon dreams of love and sweet grace.
Cherished musical melodies flow softly in my head.
I reach inside my heart and a thin golden thread
begins to mend the hurt deep within.
A prayer releases inside my soul and a choir
begins to sing.
I am filled with love and feel embraced.
A joyful awe starts to transcend.

karmasage

Handful of Love

I have dreamt about a love that would embrace me.
A love that fulfilled me.
A love you did not have peel likes layers.
A love you never had to question because it was never hidden.
A love that bold and true.

I want to trust a love like this.
A person who wants to share a sacred love.
A loving human who loves, but loves you with a deep blessing.
A love never thrown away for something new.
A loving man who really knows how to want me.

I still am waiting for someone who really loves me.
A trusting man who holds true.
Faithful and brave, shows all of who he is.
He shares his fears not just his successes.
He shows his fragility,not just his strength.
He shows how he can love, at lets you in
when life is hard.
He never hides who he is and everything
he does, fills you with Trust.
Everything thing he shares with you,is filled
with handfuls of love.
Something he does especially for you.
Karmasage

I feel like a Love Test Dummy

I try to open my heart, and feel my way.
I know not what love is.
Broken and torin apart by loves broken people.
People who pledge their love is real.
But you know the deal they are broken and do not know how to feel.

They are afraid and do not know how open their hearts.
Like you they have a broken heart because their love has always been taken apart.
They asked for what they need from the one they loved instead they never heard a word they said.

How can you ask someone to just love you when you already know they do.
How can you question their trust for you when you, your trust barely fades through.

Love is where you will find me.
Alone, crashed and burnt.

I keep thinking of Love and that I will find you.
Someone who listens to what I need and will follow through.
Love is suppose to make you a better person, not empty and afraid.

So help me find my away, loved and crash free.

Karmasage