Love Excavation

Light can break through,
like periods of transition.
Like embers burning,in
an exhausted fire.
Rainbows igniting, after
a summers rain.
Like northern lights,
transforming on cold winters night.
Like love letting,
melting and dissolving.
Life changing, always excusing.
Shrinking and dying.
I am so very tired of trying.

Karmasage

Another kind of hysterical blindness

Love is Blind.

Love makes you believe in the impossible.
Love makes you manic with joy and hope.
Love makes you even believe in lies.
Love can make you let go of your values.
Love can make you give up your inhibitions.
Love can make you break a heart.
Love can push you into fear.
Thinking someone loves you sometimes makes you lose yourself.
An "I Love you" can allow you to give up yourself.

We often stumble into love.
Than sometimes you fall in
and sometimes fall out.
Sometimes love is real and true.
Sometimes you see things you want to see .
Some words are pure, and others are lies.

You can not make someone love you.
You can not expect to be jealous and keep love.
You can not rationalize a heart that loves more than one.
A heart can have love for many but often there is only one true love.
Love is just bizarre.
Love can make you push others away.
Love sometimes makes you crave and even brave.

There are those who love out of fear,because they can not love themselves.
There are those who love many, cause they can not trust one.
There are those who say they love many, just because, they can never find a love that is enough.
There are those who can not commit to anyone, so they hurt many.
Than there are those true few who know how to really love.
Also those who just want to be loved.

Who am I ask?
Loveless?
Blind?
The one who can not trust.
The one too afraid, that she would seek out a fraud!
The one who chooses a love; that always rejects her
cause that is all she believes she deserves.
The one who chooses someone who denies her, hides from her,
continues to break her, and deflates her.
The one who settles for so little, when she has had so much more.

I am always looking and hoping for that one true love.
A love that lifts you,not with holding and unloving.
Not a love who pushes you away and is tired.
Not a love that is so selfish that will hurt the heart of another.
Not a love that is always testing and hesitating.
But kind love you know is true.

Karma sage

Madeline

She was losing her faith.
She was losing every sense of beauty.
She was coming undone,losing all control.
She can not breath.
She is suffocating in the pain.
She is free falling into the depths of despair.
She hopes she will die.
She is basking in the pain and the dying.
Dying is her only hope!

She escapes into sleep.
To avoid the pain of her life.
She tries to numb the pain
with meds,with things she remembered that
matter.
Nothing works...

Her every breath is struggle.
Less and less there is something left to hold on!
Her demons haunt her. Her thoughts trick her.
The depths of deception are rocking her.
It is her only comfort,
Leaving is her only freedom.
She makes a last attempt to ask for help,
to hold on.
Than she blows her mind.
Karmasage

Ecclesiastes 3
To everything there is season,and a time and purpose under heaven.
Time to be born and a time to die and time to plant; and time pluck up what is planted.
A time to kill, time to heal, a time to break down; a time to build up.
A time to weep, a time to laugh, time to mourn and time to dance.
A time to cast stones,a time to gather stones, a time to embrace and a time to refrain fom embracing.
A time to get, a time to lose, a time to cast away.
A time to rend , atime to sew,atime to keep silence, and time to speak.
A time for love, a time for hate, a time of war and time of peace.
........Rejoice in life it is god's gift.

Even at my lowest when I wanted to reject Faith or needed to find Faith, feel rejected or need to find love for myself and something to strive for these versuses comfort me.

Corinthians 1-13....
If I speak in tongues of men and angels, but have not love,I am only a resounding gong and clanging cymbal.If I have gift of prophesy and can fathom all mysteries, and all knowledge, and I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love,I am nothing. if give all that I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames but I have not love,I gain nothing.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy,it does not boast,It is not proud. It is not rude,it is not self seeking,it is not angered it keeps no angers of wrong. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perserves.
Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease, where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge;it will pass away.
For we know in part and we prophesy in part,but when perfection comes,imperfection disappears. when I was a child ,I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became an adult, I put the child behind me. Now we see but the poor reflection as in a mirror;than I shall see face to face. Now that I know in part;than I shall fully, even as I am fully knowen.
And now these three remain faith, hope and love. But the greatest is Love.

( Love is sometimes challenging to live up too)

Undying Love

It happened,
with a passing glance.
Than an impromptu gaze.
A slight brushing touch.
Everyday we passed each other at
the same breathless moment.
Each day what most people thought
of as everyday occurrence began to
untangle a passion filled love.
The deep lingering looks and the
passing contact turned into
a fragrant trip.
True and utter alchemy!
Each day I fell in love with this stranger.
Until one faithful day the words
came.
Each phrase we spoke unleashed the love
that was built in those moments.
The only thing that was left was to
consummate this love.
A true spiritual liberation.
One true moment of pure bliss!
Than he was taken away in
the very next moment.
How could the perfect feeling of love be their
one moment and taken away the next.
Only left with questions of who he was
and a love inside.
I felt I may die.
I felt the transition.
I felt the things that were just substitutions.
Can you hold on, when you lose, this kind of
spiritual liberation.
This was the altercation, a lost love,replaced
by legacy of love.

Karma_sage

Full Moon
You open up emotion.
You reveal peoples truth,
like a crystal ball.
You unravel peoples secrets.
Your reflection entices people
to speak their mind.
Your illumination gives us hope.
You beg us to dream.
To believe.
You breakdown inhibition.
You create a path to integrity.
You untangle human deceit.
You weave quilt of genuine warmth.
You reveal the true inner reflection of who
we are.
You unveil the truth.

Rooted in lies.
Born to deceit.
Broken humanity
and disrespect.
Lack of care,
and fragile
hope.
Daunted by
negativity and
depression.
All that is left
is silent prayer
of hope.
A burning ember of
light.
The total escavation
of Faith.

Broken glass
heartache
Shattered.

Trust

You were something,
that resided in me.
You were born with me.
Than you began to
evaporate.

Each abrasion,
each hurt,
every broken relationship,
every loss,
the disappointments,
all added up to one thing,
distrust.

I keep looking, trying to find you.
In myself,
inside of faith,
in a person, and in the now.

I wonder if you can be excavated,
healed,
and revealed.

In each lesson, I look for you.
In each I prayer, I pray for you.
In each person, I try to recognize you.

I feel so void of you.

You linger in my dreams.
I see you in my hopes.
I feel you where love resides.

But each time you deteriorate
like broken glass and fragile tears.
You always tend to disappear.

They say you become a choice.
That your belief,
is like when one has faith.

I want you back so I do not
continue to hold back.

Karma_sage