Sunday, February 09, 2014
Broken Hearts I have been crying a ocean of tears filled with rejection and loss. I remember the words my mother told me find someone who loves you more than you love them. Maybe that is selfish love when you have lost and have nothing more than one broken heart. I learned early that people will break you heart... you can love them uncondtionally, stand by them, cherish them, stick by them but their broken hearts; will lie to you , hurt you and will beat you away. People will take that unconditional love you give them eventually they will abuse it, use it, and short change you. This is a broken heart it is heart that has been robbed by another. A heart that is desperate,,,will try to mend, or it will try to break another heart. This heart will test, play games, and will withhold the very thing it wants. This heart will give away its respect, will allow itself to be used, will believe in things that are not real, and may even hurt another heart to give away its own pain. A broken heart bruised deeply will either strive to never hurt another, or will at all costs do everything it can to never be hurt again. So today I cry for my broken heart scarred and always tender and all the other hearts that feel abused, rejected, disrespected, and subjected to all that it is been broken!
You ask me if I miss you! Right now I fill I lost to you. I have always wanted you to let me in...I feel like you totally slammed the door on me! You said you know me, than I ask why you want to hurt me? My thoughts are that you are overwhelmed, but I feel clueless. I believe you are wrapped in loss and in pain! I wonder if it is just another excuse I make for you! I wonder if you tell someonelse that I am the girl who wants more for you and makes you feel trapped! Ever since you told me about the woman who you went to the concert with...I wonder if she feels like me. Why does this guy like me , but avoids me, why does this guy not want more from me. I wonder if you have told her that you love her and left her with mixed messages. I wanted to be that girl you wanted to share things with, not the girl you run to when you want to avoid things. I have learned that when you give your love you are lied too, when you share yourself you will find someone who withholds,and that when you find someone who hides they are not just hiding from you. Have I tried to make you mad, to wake you up, to let me in but you just put another barrier up! You always want easy and simple...I am always fighting for something real with you. I wondering who your protecting? I wonder if the games you play make you hard? I wonder who;you hold close, who you would never hurt,and who you want to tell the truth too! It is not me! Someone who always tests you, will finally create person who will one day stop trying! Is it not ironic that we create what we do not want!